Category Archives: Personal

Personal posts

Personal, Site News

Lord Buddha, Thank You for My Liberation…

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I have had what I feel to be the most hellish 7 days of purgatory I have ever experienced from a biological function standpoint. I have had sinus allergies before, but what I suffered (pardon my use of swear words) was the most fucking agonizing experience of choking on mucus and smelling nothing but mucus ever in my own damned existence! I give credit to water, the microwave, lemon hibiscus tea, clover honey, Mucinex-D, Claritin for saving my sorry hide from the suffocation of the mucus. Bigger credit goes to my mother and her use of accupressure to unblock my chi points related to my respiratory functions… It hurt like the most agonizing pain, but it’s helped in unimaginable ways! However, I will admit that me coughing up the bane of my ability to breath is not the most appealing way to look at me.

I know I have been overdue for a post here, school has actually been quite a lethal force on me. Combine that with my miserable condition and well… You get Zero being morbidly fatigued both in the mental and physical vectors. I will probably do a “Day in the Life of Zero” with plenty of pictures detailing my “usual” day at school. Expect it to be relatively entertaining and dare say… hilarious! Expect mug shots of me or candid and funny images of stupid shit I encounter as well. Maybe the possibility of a trip to the infirmary should my allergies continue their murderous tirade… I hope to god not though.

My school wiki is LIVE so if some of you readers are part of my class, feel free to steal, leech, and even ADD to my notes! Collaboration is the lifeblood of a wiki, word-up!

I know that I have a tech review that’s long overdue, but I’ll get it done in time… I just need the consensus of one of my peers for that. It’s more my “white paper” on computer gaming from the casual gamer’s point of view. For readers wondering what my “resume” in gaming is… It’s primarily FPS, RTS, and MMORPG. I like those genre in particular as they suit me and I have friends who delve into each genre. In my opinion, the experimentation has rather been a success.

Personal

Cat-1337 Speak – I haz an offizz numbr nao!

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So for the longest while… I have wanted to play around with getting a “professional” phone number for ZeroXR 13mg… and finally I have gotten one! I will probably post it to the site in due time as I am exhausted by the heat in Commerce. It’ll be the phone number I use temporarily to field calls related to articles and possibly interviews (well not any time soon of course).

I think I may have to pass out very soon… heat plus walking plus working out has me throughly exhausted!

Fitness, Personal, Site News

Returning to the Lyceum and a Work Out Log Entry!

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So I am back in school Monday for my first day of FULL schooling in almost 3 years at a big school and it’s quite a change from the hell that is “thirteenth grade” community college. I must say that the experience has been fun and quite a blast! To meet kind people who know nothing of your past has been spectacular! The campus is bustling with activity and and there is a very vital energy that invigorates the place.

However, my return is not without difficulty… Sure, I do live in the “crappy” dorm alone, but I did not have luck on my side as my dorm does not have a mini-fridge and family feels I can forego needing a microwave. So I have had to be resourceful with my meal plan and make do with it or use my dining cash every now and then for minor snacks when I am burnt out on my stash.

I also restarted my workouts to try to account for the matter that I have been burning intense calories running up and down 9 flights of stairs and walking to classes. Obviously, my legs are strained out so I had to pick another muscle group… Yesterday it was abdominals.

  • 100 reps of crunches
  • 100 reps of cross crunches
  • Done in sets of 20 with a 5 second break in between sets

My abs are burning, however, today… I need to look into doing upper body work. Push-ups, triangle push-ups, and the exhausting decline push ups will probably be the fare of the day after my short sprint to Wal-Mart for calculator batteries.

Expect a post later today with a “furnished” tour of my dorm room… so far, my fans Kimi and Sol have noted that my single room is quite spacious compared to others.

Personal

“This is not a test!”

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So it’s a Saturday night before school starts… I just had gotten done playing a game online with some friends and I was about to hit the hay and suddenly at 1:30am I hear sirens blaring. I also see the annoying strobe to boot… Then I could hear the hall staff on the intercom system saying “This is NOT a test! Report to the safe areas! Do NOT use the elevators! Use the stairs as instructed!”.

Naturally… I dreaded the stairs… I had been using the elevators to stave off from tearing any more adipose tissue as move in tore more than its fair share. Unfortunately, I had to shut out the poor screams of my muscles and power through the suffering. I took another descent down 9 flights of stairs just to wait at the gravel parking lot. From there, I waited until my hall assistants cleared for us to return. It was about a 20 to 30 minute wait. They had the police and fire department down to investigate too. I could hear many of the other students panicking with lines of “Damn… I left my laptop, iPod, camera, etc in my room!” I am basically texting my closest friends saying “So yeah… I lost sleep from this…”

After they came to a silent resolution… We were cleared to return. The staff was silent as to what happened, but every door marker had a hang tag that had a check mark (as far as I knew) for floors that I assume were clear. I would return to my room, but from the increased blood flow to my torn up legs to being amped on having to “haul tail” down from the fire alarm… I can’t sleep… Let’s hope I can exhaust myself to go to sleep.

Personal

[Zeroism] The 13 Sins, Dissolution of the Self, and The Force of Will

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In my road to perdition… I did many things that were not part of any good human philosophy. Lots of things I had done involved the pain and anguish of others. That, in turn, really backlogged the karmic pool with vile backlash points that were ready to explode out like a cannon when it was my due time to pay my price. That would happen at my “ripe” age of 19 and I would see what nearly 3 years of sin brought me. The power of my own vile sins just had turned my life to complete failure. I had built up my life on a philosophy that was destructive on myself and it cost me the friendships of many friends with the loss of many hours of progress.

Essentially, this was the dissolution of my mental and spiritual being. In my personal “philosophy” of ZeroXR, this is the “clearing of the slate” portion in “The Way of Perfection”. I can say that I was a shambling pile of flesh that could not properly function in a society governed by rational logic in this stage. I will not lie that I was in no way healthy enough to even carry on living with how much of a mess I was. There was one person though who helped me rebuild from the fallen ramparts of myself… That was probably the focal point of my rebuilding. They had served as almost like the meticulous builder of a complex engine of neural synapses and vividly delicate cranial matter to piece me back together as a human being. I will say that even today, I still talk to mentor and I sing their praises because I would not be around had they not helped me.

The only matter that was really pressing then became “How do I pursue perfection and never slip away once more?”

With slipping away, that would mean another fall away from the philosophy of ZeroXR. I didn’t want to become that human again who was a shambling mess… I wanted to be the hero I was again. The man who honored himself and also honored his friends and family. The big thing that mattered was that I needed to empower myself with the force of will. The innate power that we as humans have that reinforces our stand on things and issues that matter the most to us. I had to find the strength to grab hold of the reins of my life and follow through the work of my mentor had layed out so well. I did not want her work to have been in vain.

Finding my own force of will as a very sensitive matter as I had to come to rely on myself as a human, rather than hope and pray for a savior to continually infuse me via an IV line. I had to find strength within myself to realize that I am a great person. Sure, my past was a personal Hell, but even through that… I had to keep it as a lesson of the past. My reputation as a human had gone to the garbage, but I really couldn’t do much, as I shouldn’t need to. I had to realize I had long standing friends who had weathered out the storm with me. Ultimately, I had to realize that I was inately strong from the inside. I had to forgive myself to realize that everyone is not without sin, but at the same right, being human entitles us to a chance at forgiveness.

Forgiveness is one thing that makes the force of will possible, but when we wallow in our own mortal suffering… We essentially deny ourselves the power of our own will. This step is vital as we cannot begin the journey to personal perfection without forgiving ourselves. Be it if we have 13 sins or 1,000 sins, it doesn’t matter as all things can be forgiven if we can learn to accept ourselves. Even when we fall to broken ramparts, we still do have a chance for redemption.

Personal

Base of Operations Established…

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So… Move-in was interesting..! It figured that it would rain on me, so I had to bide my time and wait until it was much more manageable to pack and drive. Once I had found a chance, I took it and ran! I crammed a bunch of stuff into Devil that it was ludicrous! I mean, I have played grocery Tetris before… but this was moving Tetris! The brunt of things was more realizing that after my break up, I didn’t have much to my name… After packing up my roadster, It was time to pick up a few essentials. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and hair spray. After picking those up, I’d proceed to drive out to Commerce in a torrential outpour of rain. Most of my driving was below posted speeds with good reason. however once some of the moisture dried from the roads… I wanted to reach my own personal state of divinity. There was one point where I had to back down my speeds and that landed me in first gear again… from there, I could begin my ascent to the 7th level of Heaven. I would shoot my gears to 7,000 RPM and just engage gear changes at that point until I hit 5th gear. When I finally hit 5th gear… I was at a nice 100mph. Though I quickly backed down when the roads began to get uneven.

On finally reaching my dorm, I noticed a torrent of people waiting on the elevators… My mind instantly thought “This is going to be EPIC failure, but maybe the stairs can’t be that bad…” So on the first round, I went fully encumbered up 9 flights of stairs. I could feel the sweet burn from my muscle tissue tearing all over. It was something that broke the ho-hum plateau that my workout has been stuck in. However, on the 5th repetition, I was about to pass out… Lucky for me, it was about due time for lunch as I was running on nothing for a full 12 hours.

My first meal of the day ended up being a grilled cheese sandwich, fries, a meatball sub, king chicken casserole, potato salad, a brownie, and Powerade. Take account that I have basically been walking to and from places and using my roadster on a seldom basis, I may have found a solution to burn off my excess!

For pictures of my excursion, check out my Flickr album! Zero’s Flicker [Click me!]

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Pushing East to My Education!

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What’s wrong with this… It’s 2:18am I am sitting at my sparse office of ZeroXR 13mg with a few trashbags of accumulated junk that need to be thrown out and parts of my “dormatory” prepared to be slopped together in Devil for the “first heat”. I haven’t even arranged things for the “second heat” that my family wanted to assist with. I have prayed for this day to come and it’s literally 6 hours away… Why? Why do I feel anxiety..? Why am I itching with horrid insomnia?

I should be happy and elated to finally begin a chapter of my life that has been derailed for 3 years… To be able to proceed to the next stage where I can achieve my dreams… Most of all, the ability to realize my full potential. I guess it’s because I have worked like a work-horse for the past 5 years and have known nothing but to work enough to survive. It was like the mantra of “Work to live” rather that “Live to work”. I know that there were also some foolish decisions that also lead me into the life of demise I had…

I guess I should bolster my strength to hit the hay so that I may make a safe journey to my dormatory. I should probably lighten up my car with throwing out any filth and garbage. I probably have a good few pounds worth of garbage and junk inside my car and in the trunk. Heh… Least some weight savings will ease my trip east with regards to messed up gas prices.

Personal, Site News

48 Hours until Academic Battle Phase is Initiated

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So I got my financials taken care of at school and it was quite simple… Just a reminder that my interest is 6.00% both on unsubsidized and subsidized loans and not to “eff up” (for slang) my work or I will once again be chased by the feds again. It was my first bad encounter to and from school with rainy roads while fending off wacky drivers at 100+ miles per hour in my soft shelled drop top in a long while. It was a fun journey, but I will say that having great tires means I have great traction for gear transitions.

The last bit of financial junk I need to resolve is paying the school $536 that the loans didn’t pay out. I guess one could consider it as Uncle Sam’s “Are you serious about school?” fee. I should be able to muster out the cash with no issue… However… I also need to get my PSP and DS sets sold off to generate repayment capital for my boon of luck from my family.

I still can’t believe that in about 48 hours I pack my crap up and drive out to my dormatory. It’s daunting, but exciting at the same run. I will be packing modest, as with becoming mobile… I don’t have much crap for save a printer, laptop, phone, and bags. It’ll be interesting being type-cast into the category of “starving college student” with my life on campus and coming back to town to work at the office… but for me, that’s more than worth my time! It is much like my philosophy, sometimes legends are born from a blank slate. This semester is my carte blanche, I will make a new legend for myself!

As far as the new site relaunch… That may be delayed for a while… In the mean time, I will probably search for a temporary lay-out that announces who’s writing what articles at ZeroXR.com so that when Wyno’s writing bug bites her, no one will assume it’s me! However, the new “About Zero” revision is underway and I have to thank my friend Nikkie for going out of her way to do that with me. Expect a very light hearted interview as it’s going to share a side of me that few get to know.

With this, I bid you all adeau so that I may walk into the office.

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Thanks from my Soiree – [Thank You Post]

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Last night was a night of fun and casual elegance… We had a grand time of conversing and dining and the best part being that it was with a few of my friends that I cared the most for. My friend Devon showed up and I had not seen him since almost 2001! That in itself was surprising as we reflected on amusing memories.  My partner and her roommate also showed up for the event, so they were terrible amusing as well! With that being said… With Sol to the mix, we were just socializing and having a wicked fun time. We feasted on many items and relished in the taste of them as well as how much fun we’ve had in this life.

With back to school nigh, it was a final celebration of freedom before the educational grindstone. I am thankful for the few friends I have but even more thankful for the ones who could make it to my event. You all mean the most to me!

Personal, Rant

[Mini Editorial] Gotta love the Feds sometimes…

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Financial aid is quite the “clusterfuck” as my former boss mentioned the quoted term.

A while back, I had a personal set-back and a medical condition that ended up being the one-two punch that basically had me dropping out of college while on a federal Pell grant. Let’s just say the Feds were awful quick to scream “ZERO!!!!! WE WANT OUR MONEY YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!” in a proverbial sense and they were aggressive as hell (like calling the day the semester ended). Once I paid them back… They conveniently kept a record on their files saying “Zero has paid his dues in full” however, the forgot to put it on my FAFSA file saying the same apparently all summer… I had contacted them about this flag since February, with various agents going “It takes time for the computer to flag an account as paid.”

Chain reaction: My school basically found that same flag and said “Zero, we can’t offer you any financial assistance cause your file is flagged as you have not paid the Feds their due cash.”

Cue this morning: I call the Feds up this morning and met with a amicable agent on the phone. Got hit with the standard gauntlet of questions to verify my identity of Zero, so after that I fire off my query of “Is there a way I could get my status immediately send over to my school for verification purposes and have my file cleared?” Sadly, I got the standard “It takes up to 2 business days for us to fax that to your educational establishment…” line from them.

That’s actually a bit ironic as when you ever owe the feds cash, they will hunt you down like a pack of bloodthirsty rottweilers. On the converse, when you pay them off… They just silently clear your file and set you free, while not updating anything else vital. That is almost a tactic that the nefarious credit companies would pull to try playing the game of “Oh… you still haven’t paid up” and conveniently putting off to the side you’ve paid in full.

Ugh… I hope the document updating my status shoots over sooner than “two business days”. We live in an era where electronic facsimilies are possible, it should not be that hard to pull up my file, drop in my financial aid office’s fax number, and then say “Send to this number.” I think I am going to be feverishly worried for a good while until my school goes “You’ve been verified and here is your financial assistance eligibility…”