Being Caved In… [Personal]

The school year has been a rough start as some of you can tell by the lack of updates… I have battled a lot of spamming comments and luckily one of my comment plug-ins fixed that issue. This year seemed easy, but I need to pull together my support network and really crunch down on studying. Studying has been pretty intense and I am not in regret from it. Sometimes the greatest heroes started off as academic grade soldiers… From this, I have forced myself to feel like I am doing academic battle like a warrior of the battlefield by having a “school uniform” of sorts. It feels good as I almost get amped to do battle but with books instead of swords!

However, on the home front… It’s still a rocky battle. I don’t expect acceptance from family anymore as that is almost a lost cause. I understand that I am not the eldest son they hoped for, but even with that, I still love them. I am doing my best in things, but at the same time… I wish they realized that I try not to ask for their help because I hate burdening them with things. Something like food, supplies, assistance with car repairs are all things that I keep silent to myself. I do it because I feel that my family has enough burdens on them with regard to the matter that I was bailed out of trouble from them. Some reason, I see myself becoming an outcast by my own accord…

These hardships often make me feel like I am being caved in by human realms… but at the same right… It’s a battle we all go through with growing up. I know that with all things, we seek guidance from above and once we get it… it all makes sense. I may be in a cave of troubles… but in time… I will find the exit and I pray that when I reach the exit I will find a night sky lit up by fireflies.