Tag Archives: Personal

Personal, Site News

Things to Come on ZeroXR 13mg…

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Let’s see here… School’s been kicking my tail pretty hard. I can officially say my legs are probably like modules of steel as I have been doing even MORE walking from participation in Psychology projects and other miscelaneous things that have me out of my dorm more often. On top of that, there are a few “stress-outs” that hit me dead in the face… So, there’s the occasional listen of soothing metal melodies or sessions of blowing stuff up in a game to mellow out.

To come, hopefully this week are…

  • The ever-so delayed “A Day in the Life of Zero” posting
  • My “Blackberry, Evolved” post on the new devices.
  • A request article by my classmates Amber and Haylee: “The Romantic and Sensual Mentalities of Men”

The only kicker that will hinder these posts is if school blows me up with work… let’s not hope that happens, shall we?

Regards,

PS – I think the Site Refresh is indefinitely delayed… but a new interview with me is being edited!

Personal

Silent Riot, Chaotic Paradise – [Zeroism/Editorial]

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This phrase has been ringing my head for the longest while… The oxymoron is rather unique. With some, it makes them think of a utopia that is chaotic to the masses, but a perfect system to the intellectuals. Some said it rang close to a quiet overthrow of a system in favor of an anarchistic system. “Silent but deadly”, a maelstrom of chaos that brews from the inside and establishes a chaotic order. Another unique view I got was “It seems like an ideal island of solitude”. These all almost sync up to my main thought… The phrase empathizes the greatest struggle of humanity: The struggle between what is ideal for the self and the ideals of the society.

As humans, we do what is best to ensure our comfort and survival. Face it, we really hate suffering. I know I personally just got out of a 4 year crawl in Hell and it’s great to finally be comfortable with a pleasant survival. I mean, save for masochists, who likes waking up in the morning to go “Hell yes! I can’t wait for some crazed maniac to take a claymore and impale me! Oh yeah!!!“? I know I don’t like the mental image of that idea. Take a look at some of what inspires and motivates humans… Sex, love, money, material delusions (alcohol et al). In my observation, this breaks down to a two sided system for what we want: pleasure and reward.

Society however doesn’t take lightly to these lofty principles… Society attempts to run on a paradigm of productivity and innovation. If a person isn’t adding something useful to a society, they are seen more as a “problem” or a “nuisance” to be removed or assimilated. This is a very black and white system, but even society cannot hinder the fact some gray areas can exist… Every now and then, we have those who lash out against the system. The results vary… some can succeed, some may end up failing at their aims to subvert the system.

Where do we find that fine line? We can do battle and be much like the revolutionary predecessors in hopes that society will bend to our will or the lingering question remains: “Do I have to be society’s bitch?” This is one battle that everyone struggles with internally. The scale could be minor to something small like choosing not to do a vital report for your office or something major like create an uprising against one’s own government. In some ways, fighting for one’s own belief system can be seen as “selfish” or “reckless” though it just ultimately comes down on how much we value something. The way I see it is more “Are you willing to put for the silent protest in your heart out to the world for a chance at sharing your own personal paradise, even if society cannot fathom the beauty of your own chaos?”

Sometimes, we can’t sway society… At the same time, we can’t also put forth our dreams into action because it would jeopardize the lives and/or minds of others. I can say that everyone has this struggle in their heart at some point and time; unfortunately, we may be left in our own toilings. We may just be left in our own silent riot, chaotic paradise within our minds.

Personal

Angel of Retribution, Devil of Rebirth

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Friends, family, and my endearing fans of ZeroXR 13mg… I still remember last Friday driving at a blazing pace to set-up base at my official office at home to type out my plea for prayers and emotional assistance. The outcry generated from ZeroXR 13mg, Facebook and text messages was AMAZING! I then would proceed to Stage II of praying for a blessing, sacrificing something in tribute to the gods and demi-gods of Buddhism. Small things like an entire day of not eating meat or an entire day dedicating myself to ceaseless recital of Buddhist sutras and no stimulating entertainment, all to ask the gods to turn the karma machine on…

Well, you all poured your hearts in to praying to your gods… Be they Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, Hindu, etc… They heard your prayers. I know Lord Buddha heard mine. Today was evidence of that.

It started with waking up to “dragon tears” tapping at my window at 7am in the morning. Some family of mine had recited a myth that gentle rains are usually the joyful weeping of heavenly dragons in the sky granting a pious soul a blessing. I even sacrificed styling my hair creatively as a sign of respect for asking my prayers to be granted, just to ensure things.

On my way to math class, I took an exam and aced it… Definitely a great sign!

In Chemistry, I found that my peers also had raised complaints against the teacher’s assistants delaying our exam by 15 minutes… so my professor basically said “I have your exams… You have 30 more minutes to complete your exam.” I bolted out of my seat like an agent trying to snag a dossier while deftly maneuvering others trying to make the most of my time. I managed to fight as hard as I could on the last 2 questions that I didn’t have time to do on Friday, which were worth 18 points. So knowing I did what I could, I knew that my maximum score could now be a little higher.

I would call my apartment at about 4:15pm and ask “What’s my verdict?” My agent would say “So far, things are looking in your favor. It’s being sent to the property managers so they can assess if the case is plausable to do that.” So on walking to my dorm… I just continued reciting prayers in my head. I would ask my friend David if he wanted to come down to the cafeteria with me. He would walk with me and right about 5:13pm, I would hear my phone playing my Korean pop tune ringtone. I didn’t recognize the number, but I picked up the call with due haste.

“Zero, It’s Angela* with Haven Grove Apartments*. I just wanted to give you the follow up call that your case was put before the property managers and on their overview of the case… You both were roommates in the apartment, but her not paying her portion of the bill was not justified by her. In light of this, we will split the bill right in half. You have paid a good portion so all you have left is $142 in dues. The rest will be sent to collections and they will make calls and send her letters in an effort to attempt collecting for her bill. We just need payment from you be it a money order or even a post dated check. After that, you will be absolved from your debts and her debt will be hers alone.”
* – Names changed for privacy reasons.

When I heard that news… I was elated. I had been waiting for the engines of karma to kick in and they finally did. I will say that I couldn’t have done it without you all… Hell, I even found that one of my friends was up since last night and until 6am this morning praying for me! This is proof for all of those that divine retribution works with prayer and for those who have wanted a wrong to finally become right… Karma works and so does prayer. This event is a true testament that “What comes around, goes around”. Loyal fans, friends, and family of mine… I am in your debt. I know that I owe the biggest debt to Lord Buddha for finally coming through with things.

Expect much happier and less stressed posts on ZeroXR 13mg soon..!

Much love,

Personal

Plea of Prayer – Save Me!

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Some of you who have been part of the novel that is my life do remember that my ex used to communally share an apartment with me and on parting ways, we were instructed by our complex to pay our according due of $1,086 for breaking our 1 year lease contract. I was still in the balancing act of paying off some of my credit card debt, so I was only able to spare $25 a month to stave away the bill collectors… I had assumed the ex was being a responsible adult and paying $25 or however much she could pay them. I would find today that was not the case…

On journeying to the leasing office of my old home, I would be hit with a horrid shock… my complex no longer accepts segmented payments for lease termination penalties and this was a command that was from their corporate office. There was $572 left on the balance and that had to be paid before Sunday, October 5th of 2008. My face went a deathly and sickly pale white. For a sanguine guy like myself, that’s a grave sign… The leasing agent pulled up the dossier for my old home and she went through the billing records. It had shown that right after we moved out, we both were paying on time, but it wasn’t until October that I basically became the sole payer of the apartment breakage fees. I had pleaded with the agent if there was anything that could be done, because at this rate, I have basically paid right at 50% of the breakage fees. They had asked if I had anyone who could assist me and I told them I had exhausted all of my financial options. The next question was “Have you attempted to collect payment from her?” and ever since she moved off to NYC, she had refused to have anything to do with the communal debt. The agent then pondered one last long shot option before the bill would have us both in collections…

“We do have records that you have been accountable for all of your payments and with them totaling near 50%, I can try to talk to the property manager and have her try to ask our corporate to basically nullify your paid portion of the bill. You would then have your remaining portion to pay which isn’t too much more. The remaining half then would be sent to collections and penned to her name, so that your credit is no longer tied to her delinquency.”

From this dialog with the agent… It gives me a chance to finally have things fair, ’cause the ex refused to do the adult thing and take care of her portion of the bill. It’s one thing to beg others for money to fund lavish habits and swindle others… but it’s another to be reprehensible and not pay for one’s one fair share of debt.

I ask you, my readers, my friends, my family, hell… even the world… If you could give me a prayer, it would be much appreciated. I want things to be fair so the closure with my ex can finally come to a complete end. It’s bad enough that her portion of the lease breakage is there, even worse that it haunts me months after she dumped me. I am happy for myself for once and I simply want justice for fairness sake. Spread the word if you wish, because I definitely don’t mind!

Personal, Technology

Rage, Advanced.

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Some of you, I have recanted my saga be it in person, over IM, or text message about my horrid plight… Well, yesterday, I learned that I have some insane levels of rage to be able to take things apart. Maczimus had told me I may have a chance to salvage the data by ripping my 160GB external drive apart and then trying to plug the drive into a desktop machine in a salvage attempt to rip my data off. So I had to dust off my knuckles and try to figure a way to the assembly screws and clasps. Rather than using a flat-head screwdriver and a hammer, I found that brute force and pulling at plastic trims does wonders! I managed to rip the drive and then free it from its prison of metal and plastic.

I am glad that it’s free… but I just I now only have a 20% chance to get my data back. I don’t ask the denizens of electricity much, but being a “student” of alchemy… I would like their blessing. Keep those prayers coming everyone..!

Personal, Technology

[Prayer Request] Suzaku puked and my 160GB external Obelisk may potentially be dead

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I swear, sometimes I think Suzaku’s dance of death is happening now sometimes… About a week ago, a stress fracture appeared on the left corner of my laptop around (ironically) the hard drive and left speaker. Then yesterday, I somehow tracted a zombie-like virus on my computer that basically tore my C:\ in Windows to shreds in real time, while I was trying to make a hasty attempt to back-up my essential data.

I managed to redo another clean install of Windows XP Media Center Edition and reconfigure Suzaku to it’s proper specification, so that’s no issue. The issue is, somehow my 160GB external hard drive named “Obelisk” has a corrupted partition table and that’s quite the predicament ’cause I cannot read a damn thing on there.

Maczimus was more than kind enough to help me as much as he could, but ultimately that would lead to one prognosis… Crack off the plastic encasing using “blunt force trauma”, plug it to a computer desktop tower, use chkdisk and other tools to try to force a repair on the partition table, salvage as much possible data as can be gotten, then reimage the drive with NTFS or EXT3, and lastly to retoss the data back on to the drive.

For once, (pardon my crude language) I am holding cooler than I normally would with a situation like this… Normally, I’d go into a bit of a panick… but at the same time, I am not scared at the moment. It’d be nice to salvage the data, but I won’t be too upset if I can’t. The good news is that my tiny window got a little bigger ’cause HDTune says the drive is in good health as far as sectors go. The only problem is the damned partition tables.

If anyone could, send me a prayer or drop a comment in hopes that I do have a chance to salvage the data.

Personal, Site News

Lord Buddha, Thank You for My Liberation…

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I have had what I feel to be the most hellish 7 days of purgatory I have ever experienced from a biological function standpoint. I have had sinus allergies before, but what I suffered (pardon my use of swear words) was the most fucking agonizing experience of choking on mucus and smelling nothing but mucus ever in my own damned existence! I give credit to water, the microwave, lemon hibiscus tea, clover honey, Mucinex-D, Claritin for saving my sorry hide from the suffocation of the mucus. Bigger credit goes to my mother and her use of accupressure to unblock my chi points related to my respiratory functions… It hurt like the most agonizing pain, but it’s helped in unimaginable ways! However, I will admit that me coughing up the bane of my ability to breath is not the most appealing way to look at me.

I know I have been overdue for a post here, school has actually been quite a lethal force on me. Combine that with my miserable condition and well… You get Zero being morbidly fatigued both in the mental and physical vectors. I will probably do a “Day in the Life of Zero” with plenty of pictures detailing my “usual” day at school. Expect it to be relatively entertaining and dare say… hilarious! Expect mug shots of me or candid and funny images of stupid shit I encounter as well. Maybe the possibility of a trip to the infirmary should my allergies continue their murderous tirade… I hope to god not though.

My school wiki is LIVE so if some of you readers are part of my class, feel free to steal, leech, and even ADD to my notes! Collaboration is the lifeblood of a wiki, word-up!

I know that I have a tech review that’s long overdue, but I’ll get it done in time… I just need the consensus of one of my peers for that. It’s more my “white paper” on computer gaming from the casual gamer’s point of view. For readers wondering what my “resume” in gaming is… It’s primarily FPS, RTS, and MMORPG. I like those genre in particular as they suit me and I have friends who delve into each genre. In my opinion, the experimentation has rather been a success.

Personal

Cat-1337 Speak – I haz an offizz numbr nao!

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So for the longest while… I have wanted to play around with getting a “professional” phone number for ZeroXR 13mg… and finally I have gotten one! I will probably post it to the site in due time as I am exhausted by the heat in Commerce. It’ll be the phone number I use temporarily to field calls related to articles and possibly interviews (well not any time soon of course).

I think I may have to pass out very soon… heat plus walking plus working out has me throughly exhausted!

Fitness

[Workout Insight] Sweet Burn, I cannot escape it!

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With how much walking I do… It makes me wonder what’s the quantitative distance that I walk. All I can say is that my legs seriously burn around the calves and hamstrings. The burn rate is RIDICULOUS! Well… It’s sorta like my ex boss said… “You are going to be buff, so there’s no issue…” I gotta do some research on that!

Fitness, Personal, Site News

Returning to the Lyceum and a Work Out Log Entry!

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So I am back in school Monday for my first day of FULL schooling in almost 3 years at a big school and it’s quite a change from the hell that is “thirteenth grade” community college. I must say that the experience has been fun and quite a blast! To meet kind people who know nothing of your past has been spectacular! The campus is bustling with activity and and there is a very vital energy that invigorates the place.

However, my return is not without difficulty… Sure, I do live in the “crappy” dorm alone, but I did not have luck on my side as my dorm does not have a mini-fridge and family feels I can forego needing a microwave. So I have had to be resourceful with my meal plan and make do with it or use my dining cash every now and then for minor snacks when I am burnt out on my stash.

I also restarted my workouts to try to account for the matter that I have been burning intense calories running up and down 9 flights of stairs and walking to classes. Obviously, my legs are strained out so I had to pick another muscle group… Yesterday it was abdominals.

  • 100 reps of crunches
  • 100 reps of cross crunches
  • Done in sets of 20 with a 5 second break in between sets

My abs are burning, however, today… I need to look into doing upper body work. Push-ups, triangle push-ups, and the exhausting decline push ups will probably be the fare of the day after my short sprint to Wal-Mart for calculator batteries.

Expect a post later today with a “furnished” tour of my dorm room… so far, my fans Kimi and Sol have noted that my single room is quite spacious compared to others.