Hall of Shame Review – Touch the Dead (DS)

In the world of gaming, it’s not “unusual” to have a company sell out some of their rights to a franchise just to make a buck at the expense of another company’s reputation. It’s happened before… The main victims of this “crime” are the gamers and the gullible publishers. I will say that I am the epicurean casual gamer. I love to try all sorts of odd games just for fun because I can. At the same right, I can be a masochist for downright terrible games. Sometimes it’s a hidden gem in the rough that ends up getting publicized recognition (Cooking Mama) or ones that inspire so much rage that would almost inspire you to shatter your console in half. This review is more on the latter.

I love the “House of the Dead” franchise by Sega/AM2 team as it’s like a corny B-movie about zombies and monsters while having to shoot them dead. I have played most of the incarnations, including the infamous “Typing of the Dead” for PC with the Mavis Beacon zombie on the cover of the Japanese version game CD cover. On one of my trips to the local GameStop, I found the “Touch the Dead” DS card sitting in the “missing covers” drawer of games. Naturally, I figured “why the hell not?” and bought it.

The game was made by Eidos Games under their lower brand label “Secret Stash Games” as noted in the Wikipedia entry. The game has you playing what it seems like a mental asylum or prison inmate breaking out of their in a whirlwind of chaos. From there, you grab a gun and encounter the horde of zombies. It is close to the premise of “House of the Dead” but I’d place it more as a knock off if anything. The game play is pretty straight-forward. Use the stylus to “touch” the dead people and shoot them with whatever weapons you have. To reload, you drag a clip of bullets to your gun’s magazine. To switch weapons, you press the control pad up, down, left, or right to switch to the according weapon in your inventory cross on the top screen. To be fair to the left-handed people, the A, B, X, Y buttons also serve the same functions. The top screen also houses the player’s life meter as well as mentions if you have unlocked the secrets from the level.

The character models and movies are a little rough for what they are. It is a shame, because the game could have been cleaned up a bit make it a bit pretty rather than crappy. The zombies are rather fast on the “normal” mode and combine it with the clumsy reloading scheme. Combine the both and the experience can be frustrating if not maddening. It will almost seem like the game is making a cheap shot at you with the random zombie attacks. With all due respect the game makes for a mildly fun experience… but the worst part is… You don’t get continues. It’s just a paltry 5 “lives” with 5 hits each. The only chance to ensure longevity is to break open crates that may have more hearts or bullets for the extra guns or even power-ups to increase your weapon’s strength.

The game is so shameful that I barely can even finish the review… Just if you like niche games, save yourself the humanity and don’t ever play this game. Dream On Studios should have refined the experience before even releasing it as it’s pretty difficult as it is. It had a good idea, just one of the worst executions ever seen.

Quarantining Myself from the Flu Afflicted

Welp, with the new strain of the flu finally hitting… It has shown that the virus has evolved finally to new strain. My sister Alice and my father are affected at home… Lucky for me and my mother, we are the only well ones as we eat properly and sleep properly as well. Just the only thing is at the office… a number of clients coming in with the flu is staggering. It has me taking 1,000mg of Vitamin C to boost my immunity. This ironically came at a great time. With me minimizing Devil’s drive time, I am somewhat reluctant to reduce my workout routine until the repairs can be successfully completed. This also keeps me from overexerting my body leaving me vulnerable to illness. I can’t wait to return fully powered up with Devil rejuvenated.

For those who fear being caught with the flu, here are tips I have learned through out the years of living without health insurance:

  • Bulk up on Vitamin C, about 1,000mg will turbocharge the immunity
  • Take a homeopathic immunity supplement like Emergen-C or Airborne
  • Try to keep a bland diet that has minimal sugars to avoid straining the body out
  • Get plenty of rest! Nap if you need to assist in that process.
  • Hydrate up with water and/or hot tea

Stay warm and stay well!