Daily Archives: 2008-01-03

Personal

Staking in for the Blind and Showing of Hands – Texas A&M Commerce

1 Comment

So today I took a journey to Commerce, Texas and take a gamble on my academic fate. A friend needed me to be navigator, but also found out that Texas A&M Commerce has a pre-pharmacy program. I figured “what’s the harm of sitting 1 hour in a car to navigate?” because ultimately, it could benefit me. If the event was a bust, then it wouldn’t be like going “all in” but rather folding my hand of cards. It wasn’t much something out of the ordinary, as I arise at 8am… but with torn glutes, quads, and hams… It makes for a difficult task to want to get out of a warm bed.

After brushing fangs and forgetting to mix my whey protein shake for breakfast, I’d make a beeline to my friend’s house to rendezvous with them for our trip. For once, traffic in Dallas was favorably nice! I had never been out to East Texas, so seeing the real country side was interesting. The amusing part for me was seeing a Carl Jr’s out on I30 East as that restaurant was a mythical restaurant that didn’t exist in the south, until today. The boring nothing was spontaneously broken up with scenic views of lakesides and the nice overcast sky with the clouds peeping out. The journey took an hour, but traffic was not as bad as my friend had predicted. Being avant garde made us extremely early, because our tour was scheduled at 2pm and it was 11am. I’d throw in my application and just inform them that I was going to have my school submit my transcripts via fax or mail. They have a policy of not eating the application fee unless acceptance is confirmed.

The next phase was to do “logistics” and locate shops for provisions. There was a Wal-Mart across I50 from the school. There are some fast food restaurants not too far away. The funny part is that there’s a liquor store about a short walk from the campus. An O’Reilly’s is about a short distance from the school, should I need car parts on short notice.

After eating a quick lunch and ratting around Wal-Mart for logistical reasons… We wandered back to the campus to prepare for the tour. It was brisk tour in the 40F cold with gusting winds, so it was not a pleasant for an experience. Our guide was great and quick… I was impressed by the facilities. The recreation center looked vast, but we didn’t explore there. The overview of the facilities revealed something very slick, a rock climbing cylinder! Something I’d kill to tackle after getting my arms back in shape… Most of the buildings are either being built or being upgraded, though some of the new buildings (1-2 years old) look great! The sciences building (where I will probably spend the bulk of my studies) looks like a pleasant environment to be in. After looking into things like transfer requirements and what essential courses I need to polish up on.

I like the campus, dearly. To be isolated in Commerce, away from the buzz of Dallas and the suburbs will keep me from wanting to spend a single dollar locally on weekdays to minimize my expenses. That and to be separated from “civilization” will allow me to concentrate on my studies. For once, I could care less about civilization and the metroplex. The big break from my family to be able to concentrate on my school work is the biggest incentive. The final hurdle is my coursework which I hope I just touch the 2.0 minimal GPA, after that, it’s more on me to pray I can get federal aid or loans for the $6,000 – $8,000 tuition.

For now… I hope that things work out for me, because I want to excel high. I would like to keep this as a surprise to my family if I get accepted… because I know right now, they see me as a “failure” or a pathetic buffoon. To be fair to myself, I have been slaving at my toiling to succeed. With fighting my personal demons, academic redemption, and debt, my mind has not been able to vector on progressing further with my education. I know Sol has witnessed me fall and pick myself up from shambles… With my supportive friends, they have helped mend and sew me together. I will fight on, because I know that I can succeed. I savor success and crave victory… I just wonder if family will cheer me on if I am accepted. If they do, then good. If not, then I shall hold myself high and stand proud.

Pictures are now online via my Flickr, enjoy! – ZeroXR

Pale Solar Flare
Pale Solar Flare

Expanse of Nothingness
Expanse of Nothingness

Gloomy Horizon
Gloomy Horizon

Commerce Sign
Commerce Sign

Personal

Lack of Working Out, Office Chaos, and Staking Myself a Gamble

Leave a comment

Some may have noticed that I haven’t posted any fitness logs for the past few days… It’s been hectic with New Years hours at the office and a few things throwing a wrench in my plans. I know that I should be kicking it up a notch, but the numbing mental exhaustion of fighting a chaotic front at work and another at home just overwhelm me. I hope to get some hours in on this coming weekend, as I owe it to myself to feel great.

The office has wracked my mind with just a numbing conundrum of problems. Missing files and dead end paper trails, inventory that’s out of wack,  just things that are becoming both a legal issue and a safety concern. I am greatly afraid that if my superiors don’t hammer these issues out, it will not bode well with corporate officials. I have strained my mind to find answers to these problems and I simply can’t pin-point it spot on. It gets so bad that sometimes I even have nightmares about the office where I catch myself screaming “no… no..! Not the damn papers!!!!! ahhhhhhh!!!!” on awaking. Well… not that dramatic, but you get my drift. From my concerns and even my new partner picking up rapidly on my worries, my superiors have decided to make a safety meeting. Unfortunately, it’ll be before our dinner at The Cheesecake Factory as a “Christmas Dinner” event because we can’t just close the office for a 35 minute – 1 hour meeting about safety issues versus national trends. The good part is not being in uniform, so I may suit up in my nice clothes to enjoy the festivities after the safety meeting.

Tomorrow, I take a trip to possibly throw the dice on a gamble that may be the best thing I have considered. Sure, it’s a 2 hour trip west of Dallas, but if the cards line up right… I may have found my ticket out of a purgatory that has been my life for the past 2 years. Being on the line for academic Hell sucks and I want to push my life towards the better. I am getting a grand tour and hopefully the investment of time will be worth the day. In the case that the gamble is a failure, it just means I need to look at some of my other options. I know the stakes of tomorrow being a total bust or “snake eyes” is a fair 50/50, so it’s all on how it plays out. The first “blind” doesn’t require a buy-in, while the second “blind” does have a $300 non-refundable buy-in.

I would like to add a prayer to my boss as he’s been struggling with being in the “doghouse” with his wife and work. I hope that things get better for him, because he feels like an infantry unit to me rather than a commander. He’s the ideal leader that I strive to work with and the same time that I would take a bullet for. It’s tough to have corporate on him for not exceeding numbers on certain corporate metrics but as well as stuff in regards to his wife. Boss, if you’re reading this, I am praying that things get better for you.