Tag Archives: Sadness

Double-13, A Birthday and Declaration of War

Tonight… I had my loyal friends show up to laugh, dine, and spend an evening with me. I am glad that my friends were there to help me celebrate an early birthday before the next week of school. However… It also is the night of my ultimate dishonor from my family. Let this fact me know… For my birthday event, I didn’t make presents mandatory because I value the company of my friends before anything material. My expectations were for a friendly gathering of people eating and wind away the night with a drink.

My sister decided to bring the war to my footsteps. So by next week… I face the hardest battle of my life. To be fair, I have my own “tactical nuke” to deploy on my sister with regards to family drama. I will say this: I do not die silently. I die fighting.  My sister will regret making my life Hell because I will ensure that she will regret causing me to essentially declare an emotional war with my family.

I leave this quote as a prelude to the “Theatre of War”…

Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
Luke 6:31

If I don’t talk much, just know I will probably be trying to re-stabilize my life…

A Tribute of Thanks and Finding Forgiveness

I would like to thank the following few folks for keeping me from doing something stupid or kicking the bucket. You all may have done something small, but to me… It means a whole lot. It’s good to know that help is not far with you all around to give me an inspiring set of words or just a simple “Are you ok?” This one goes out to all of you all who just kept messaging me and trying to keep me sane and from picking myself apart.

Bonny, you have my thanks for hearing me out and having me hang out with Hai and the gang. It helped me end things on a good note, so I am very grateful for the reality check.

Linda, thanks for all the consoling on the last few days. It means a lot to me when you shoot a simple message just to make sure that I am alright.

Merinda, thanks for shooting me inspiring messages all day to keep me going. It made surviving work a little easier.

Amanda, thanks for at least letting me know that I should need not worry about myself. I know you have mentioned that I should be seeking my own merits rather than fracturing them.

She, my thanks for shooting a message to make sure I am ok. Hopefully, you got my message about what all happened.

Rei, thanks for the phone call… It was probably like the IV line I needed that was full of reason. I know I have been tearing myself to shreds but the reason made it all hit home.

Cousin Sol, you sir… you went above and beyond. Your urgency to my situation was like that of a combat medic. Thanks for being there for me and hearing me out on my phone call.

Desiree, you have my appreciation for checking to make sure I was alright.

Jan, even though you’re my assistant manager… You’re like a mother and a close friend to me. Thank you for your encouraging words, they mean the most to me.

Lastly… Twitch, thanks for your insight on things and giving me advice that was almost like the quelling dose of IV Dilaudid. It wasn’t quite what I hoped for, but in the end, it was like the best course of therapy.

From the 9 folks of the above… They all had one theme in common in their kind advice:

Forgive yourself, because above all things… you’re human.

I realize I have forsaken myself many times all because I couldn’t realize that I had my own merits. All I can do is be driven by my own hopes and dreams in search of strength. I need to fuel myself harder on tearing more new adipose tissue. I will have to fight hard with Commerce on the way to get my degree. The most important quest of all is to realize myself, my potential, and that I am ultimately a good person.

The most important pearl of advice is from Merinda:

Never lose your dreams and honor, that’s what separates you from others in this world.