Category Archives: Personal

Personal posts

Personal

Blessing of the Battle Maiden

Leave a comment

So here I am… in Chemistry lecture. What the heck am I doing? Well… I found out even though I attempted to go to bed at 8pm only to get up at 11pm from an odd panic that disturbed my sleep to only play World of Warcraft to chill my nerves…

There was no Chemistry test today.

To think I fighting to the point of almost succumbing to my own mortal frailties to the tune of a funeral march celebrating the possession of a demon overtaking my mortal body. All to find that my test is not delayed until Wednesday… IT’S FORKIN’ DELAYED UNTIL FRIDAY!!!

I mean cool that it was delayed until then, but to think I had my hands up high, ready to put a bullet into the test… and the test ends up using a “ninja vanish” with flash powder.

My classmates said to take this “boon” as a blessing. To a sense, it is… I know my own “guardian angel”, the Stone Maiden, has been arising a lot from something akin to personal crisis. However… Her visage graced me last night and she took me on a relaxing and spirited drive. She couldn’t speak, but her drive was more relaxed. She was in the Angel Zero version of a BMW //M5 and doing the standard fare of aggressive driving moves, but it didn’t feel like battling a demon. Her driving was like listening to a beautiful concerto by one of the great composers of the past. To a sense, maybe it was her way of telling me “Relax… There’s no need to bleed to death anymore.” Whatever her conveyed message may be… I appreciate her love and grace for giving me her blessing.

Personal, Reviews, Site News, Technology

Week’s Agenda… I think?

Leave a comment

This week will probably be rather crunchy… or fall to mush… I have not a clue. I know my brain has been crunching chemistry to exhaustion. I think I am going to have to submit to my weak mortal whims to procure food. Damn mortality… well, sometimes anyhow. Chemistry will battle wits with me in nearly 17 hours so I have to crunch hard and make sure I completely absorb the materials like it is infused in the blood.

Depending on how finances look… I may or may not be getting World of WarCraft: Wrath of the Lich King. I have been through some pretty rough financial times, but I should be no stranger to them anyhow. I would love to get it mainly so I can evaluate it and post a review right away! Although, Miss Wyno said it may not be any good to me anyways as I won’t be able to utilize most of the content in Northrend until I have a character at Level 80. So maybe it is for the best..?

In good news..! I may have found a niche as a male fashion blogger! Alfred from Barney’s New York out in Northpark Center is sending me some sample goods which I should be recieving sometime this week! Many thanks goes to him and I definitely look forward to writing another enthusiastic review over everything I recieve. Hopefully I can get some pictures and provide another good review for any guys who want another perspective on male grooming and care.

I hope to get another good piece written this week… maybe I can get the long overdue “Day in the Life of Zero” post up and online? LOL! 😀 We’ll see as that’s semi dependent on how my mind can take a mental beating of savage proportions with chemistry. Ough…

Ugh… my stomach is now uncontrollably asking me to feed it. I think that’s my cue to vamoose and feed me before the low glucose levels make me cranky as hell. Keep watching here! It should get especially fun especially ’round Thanksgiving holiday!

PS – Ivy had a bit of a hard transition happen as well as the fact that she sorta hurt her knee! Please wish her well and hopefully she’ll get an article on there soon!

Much love,

Personal, Rant

“n0 P0litiks P1z, kthx”

3 Comments

So today… I was subject to a racial slur. I found it humorous, as the slur was chased with a foolish statement which negated the ire in his words. So I will paraphrase the exchange before I go into my rant…

Wacky Headcase (WH): “omgz! This country’s going to Hell! America’s lost it’s tradition!!!”
Student Instructor (SI): “Settle down… This is a MATH class, not government!”
WH: “Fucking Obama’s the Anti-Christ!”
SI: “There will be no political discussion on Friday… if you all even make the slightest thought, I will kick you out!”
WH: “This is bullshit! You’re obstructing my right to the first amendment!”
Zero: “School’s a fascist system, DEAL WITH IT!”
WH: “It’s people like you that are dragging our country to hell, you Chink! Go back to your own country!”
Zero: “I’m sorry, I was born in DALLAS! This is my country! If you think our country is going to hell… Live in another country and maybe you’ll understand what they go through!”

I mean, I will stand up and fight for a person’s right to say anything they want in the proper forum. I am a believer of Voltaire’s most beautiful quote: “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.” The only condition is… I will do it in the right forum and right place. I also feel using racial slurs, name calling, or generally lacking an open mind is down right childish. Personally I feel that school is not the place, save a government or debate class… School is a home of learning and fortitude.

Anyhow, with trying to use philosophical points with this coddy applejohn… It reminds me why I HATE talking politics with people. It leads to childish arguments and well it generally upsets a lot of people. The fact I had to use my brain with philosophy so early gave me a migraine and reminds me why RX-7 and RX-8 drivers warm up their engines before really ragging on them. So… If I see you online. No political discussions please… If I see you on World of WarCraft, put your McCain hate at your terminal and don’t bring it to Azeroth. If I see you in Guild Wars, you bet your ass that I want you to leave your Obama hate far away from Tyria, Cantha, and Elona. Hell, if I see you face-to-face… I want none of it.

Just for the record before anyone tries to con me out with “You fucking hate democracy!” I will state that I loved Ron Paul ’cause he actively campaigned about privacy, so there. I am getting the fuck out of this discussion with a vengeance. I just want to chill, mellow the fuck out, and say “Thank God the media circus and peanut gallery is over.”

Much love,

Personal

Greetings!

Leave a comment

Where the name Ivy for some brings to mind the delicate vines adding décor to trellises, or the Ivy League, or the language.. I just so happen to be none of these things. On the other hand if you pictured a girl with a laptop yelling at perfect strangers on Ventrilo, that would be closer to accurate.

“Ivy” is actually short for “Iveya,” a nickname that originated in World of Warcraft and various other roleplay settings because no one could pronounce the name properly unless shortened. Eventually I gave in and it stuck. By this, you might have already guessed that I’m a gamer. Hooray for you, you smart people! Powers of deduction are great, don’t you think? I do in fact play WoW still, on the Shadow Council US server. In a sense, however, Ivy is separate from me because she is an online persona. But hey, we all have our masks…

On the more realistic and serious side of things, I am a dual major college student of English and Philosophy trying to better understand myself and the world through philosophy and all forms of written works. To me words are as much an art form as oil paints and charcoals. I often find myself thinking on things like what makes others truly happy, or staring up at the vast starry skies above and wondering what lies beyond. Everyone thinks on these things at some point, even if in passing, and I hope to inspire people someday to think past the everyday mundane and think for themselves.

I love intelligent debate and creative minds. I watch cartoons and am not afraid to laugh at ‘kids’ jokes. I take showers at three in the morning and climb into the spa at noon sometimes on weekends just to be doing something. I love everyone until they give me reason not to. I am neither democrat nor republican, but some abomination of both that supports all human rights and still wants to see everyone working for their own living. I own a chihuahua but dislike small dogs. I know the lyrics to every song I’ve ever heard but often can’t remember how to get to the grocer. I believe people should do what they want, when they want, but I understand why we can’t. I am scared easily, and I love watching horror movies alone at three in the morning. I enjoy contradiction, in ideologies and life.

Zero has been my friend for several years now and I am honored to be of help in any way I can. He holds a special place in my heart and always will because, if I have learned nothing else from him, he taught me that people can turn their lives around when they really try. He gave me proof that people can transcend their circumstances and become what they wish to be. As much as I like contradiction, I like seeing people happy and successful even more.

Chaos never died.

Ivy out.

Personal, Site News

Things to Come on ZeroXR 13mg…

Leave a comment

Let’s see here… School’s been kicking my tail pretty hard. I can officially say my legs are probably like modules of steel as I have been doing even MORE walking from participation in Psychology projects and other miscelaneous things that have me out of my dorm more often. On top of that, there are a few “stress-outs” that hit me dead in the face… So, there’s the occasional listen of soothing metal melodies or sessions of blowing stuff up in a game to mellow out.

To come, hopefully this week are…

  • The ever-so delayed “A Day in the Life of Zero” posting
  • My “Blackberry, Evolved” post on the new devices.
  • A request article by my classmates Amber and Haylee: “The Romantic and Sensual Mentalities of Men”

The only kicker that will hinder these posts is if school blows me up with work… let’s not hope that happens, shall we?

Regards,

PS – I think the Site Refresh is indefinitely delayed… but a new interview with me is being edited!

Personal

Silent Riot, Chaotic Paradise – [Zeroism/Editorial]

Leave a comment

This phrase has been ringing my head for the longest while… The oxymoron is rather unique. With some, it makes them think of a utopia that is chaotic to the masses, but a perfect system to the intellectuals. Some said it rang close to a quiet overthrow of a system in favor of an anarchistic system. “Silent but deadly”, a maelstrom of chaos that brews from the inside and establishes a chaotic order. Another unique view I got was “It seems like an ideal island of solitude”. These all almost sync up to my main thought… The phrase empathizes the greatest struggle of humanity: The struggle between what is ideal for the self and the ideals of the society.

As humans, we do what is best to ensure our comfort and survival. Face it, we really hate suffering. I know I personally just got out of a 4 year crawl in Hell and it’s great to finally be comfortable with a pleasant survival. I mean, save for masochists, who likes waking up in the morning to go “Hell yes! I can’t wait for some crazed maniac to take a claymore and impale me! Oh yeah!!!“? I know I don’t like the mental image of that idea. Take a look at some of what inspires and motivates humans… Sex, love, money, material delusions (alcohol et al). In my observation, this breaks down to a two sided system for what we want: pleasure and reward.

Society however doesn’t take lightly to these lofty principles… Society attempts to run on a paradigm of productivity and innovation. If a person isn’t adding something useful to a society, they are seen more as a “problem” or a “nuisance” to be removed or assimilated. This is a very black and white system, but even society cannot hinder the fact some gray areas can exist… Every now and then, we have those who lash out against the system. The results vary… some can succeed, some may end up failing at their aims to subvert the system.

Where do we find that fine line? We can do battle and be much like the revolutionary predecessors in hopes that society will bend to our will or the lingering question remains: “Do I have to be society’s bitch?” This is one battle that everyone struggles with internally. The scale could be minor to something small like choosing not to do a vital report for your office or something major like create an uprising against one’s own government. In some ways, fighting for one’s own belief system can be seen as “selfish” or “reckless” though it just ultimately comes down on how much we value something. The way I see it is more “Are you willing to put for the silent protest in your heart out to the world for a chance at sharing your own personal paradise, even if society cannot fathom the beauty of your own chaos?”

Sometimes, we can’t sway society… At the same time, we can’t also put forth our dreams into action because it would jeopardize the lives and/or minds of others. I can say that everyone has this struggle in their heart at some point and time; unfortunately, we may be left in our own toilings. We may just be left in our own silent riot, chaotic paradise within our minds.

Personal

Angel of Retribution, Devil of Rebirth

1 Comment

Friends, family, and my endearing fans of ZeroXR 13mg… I still remember last Friday driving at a blazing pace to set-up base at my official office at home to type out my plea for prayers and emotional assistance. The outcry generated from ZeroXR 13mg, Facebook and text messages was AMAZING! I then would proceed to Stage II of praying for a blessing, sacrificing something in tribute to the gods and demi-gods of Buddhism. Small things like an entire day of not eating meat or an entire day dedicating myself to ceaseless recital of Buddhist sutras and no stimulating entertainment, all to ask the gods to turn the karma machine on…

Well, you all poured your hearts in to praying to your gods… Be they Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, Hindu, etc… They heard your prayers. I know Lord Buddha heard mine. Today was evidence of that.

It started with waking up to “dragon tears” tapping at my window at 7am in the morning. Some family of mine had recited a myth that gentle rains are usually the joyful weeping of heavenly dragons in the sky granting a pious soul a blessing. I even sacrificed styling my hair creatively as a sign of respect for asking my prayers to be granted, just to ensure things.

On my way to math class, I took an exam and aced it… Definitely a great sign!

In Chemistry, I found that my peers also had raised complaints against the teacher’s assistants delaying our exam by 15 minutes… so my professor basically said “I have your exams… You have 30 more minutes to complete your exam.” I bolted out of my seat like an agent trying to snag a dossier while deftly maneuvering others trying to make the most of my time. I managed to fight as hard as I could on the last 2 questions that I didn’t have time to do on Friday, which were worth 18 points. So knowing I did what I could, I knew that my maximum score could now be a little higher.

I would call my apartment at about 4:15pm and ask “What’s my verdict?” My agent would say “So far, things are looking in your favor. It’s being sent to the property managers so they can assess if the case is plausable to do that.” So on walking to my dorm… I just continued reciting prayers in my head. I would ask my friend David if he wanted to come down to the cafeteria with me. He would walk with me and right about 5:13pm, I would hear my phone playing my Korean pop tune ringtone. I didn’t recognize the number, but I picked up the call with due haste.

“Zero, It’s Angela* with Haven Grove Apartments*. I just wanted to give you the follow up call that your case was put before the property managers and on their overview of the case… You both were roommates in the apartment, but her not paying her portion of the bill was not justified by her. In light of this, we will split the bill right in half. You have paid a good portion so all you have left is $142 in dues. The rest will be sent to collections and they will make calls and send her letters in an effort to attempt collecting for her bill. We just need payment from you be it a money order or even a post dated check. After that, you will be absolved from your debts and her debt will be hers alone.”
* – Names changed for privacy reasons.

When I heard that news… I was elated. I had been waiting for the engines of karma to kick in and they finally did. I will say that I couldn’t have done it without you all… Hell, I even found that one of my friends was up since last night and until 6am this morning praying for me! This is proof for all of those that divine retribution works with prayer and for those who have wanted a wrong to finally become right… Karma works and so does prayer. This event is a true testament that “What comes around, goes around”. Loyal fans, friends, and family of mine… I am in your debt. I know that I owe the biggest debt to Lord Buddha for finally coming through with things.

Expect much happier and less stressed posts on ZeroXR 13mg soon..!

Much love,

Personal

Plea of Prayer – Save Me!

2 Comments

Some of you who have been part of the novel that is my life do remember that my ex used to communally share an apartment with me and on parting ways, we were instructed by our complex to pay our according due of $1,086 for breaking our 1 year lease contract. I was still in the balancing act of paying off some of my credit card debt, so I was only able to spare $25 a month to stave away the bill collectors… I had assumed the ex was being a responsible adult and paying $25 or however much she could pay them. I would find today that was not the case…

On journeying to the leasing office of my old home, I would be hit with a horrid shock… my complex no longer accepts segmented payments for lease termination penalties and this was a command that was from their corporate office. There was $572 left on the balance and that had to be paid before Sunday, October 5th of 2008. My face went a deathly and sickly pale white. For a sanguine guy like myself, that’s a grave sign… The leasing agent pulled up the dossier for my old home and she went through the billing records. It had shown that right after we moved out, we both were paying on time, but it wasn’t until October that I basically became the sole payer of the apartment breakage fees. I had pleaded with the agent if there was anything that could be done, because at this rate, I have basically paid right at 50% of the breakage fees. They had asked if I had anyone who could assist me and I told them I had exhausted all of my financial options. The next question was “Have you attempted to collect payment from her?” and ever since she moved off to NYC, she had refused to have anything to do with the communal debt. The agent then pondered one last long shot option before the bill would have us both in collections…

“We do have records that you have been accountable for all of your payments and with them totaling near 50%, I can try to talk to the property manager and have her try to ask our corporate to basically nullify your paid portion of the bill. You would then have your remaining portion to pay which isn’t too much more. The remaining half then would be sent to collections and penned to her name, so that your credit is no longer tied to her delinquency.”

From this dialog with the agent… It gives me a chance to finally have things fair, ’cause the ex refused to do the adult thing and take care of her portion of the bill. It’s one thing to beg others for money to fund lavish habits and swindle others… but it’s another to be reprehensible and not pay for one’s one fair share of debt.

I ask you, my readers, my friends, my family, hell… even the world… If you could give me a prayer, it would be much appreciated. I want things to be fair so the closure with my ex can finally come to a complete end. It’s bad enough that her portion of the lease breakage is there, even worse that it haunts me months after she dumped me. I am happy for myself for once and I simply want justice for fairness sake. Spread the word if you wish, because I definitely don’t mind!

Personal, Technology

Rage, Advanced.

Leave a comment

Some of you, I have recanted my saga be it in person, over IM, or text message about my horrid plight… Well, yesterday, I learned that I have some insane levels of rage to be able to take things apart. Maczimus had told me I may have a chance to salvage the data by ripping my 160GB external drive apart and then trying to plug the drive into a desktop machine in a salvage attempt to rip my data off. So I had to dust off my knuckles and try to figure a way to the assembly screws and clasps. Rather than using a flat-head screwdriver and a hammer, I found that brute force and pulling at plastic trims does wonders! I managed to rip the drive and then free it from its prison of metal and plastic.

I am glad that it’s free… but I just I now only have a 20% chance to get my data back. I don’t ask the denizens of electricity much, but being a “student” of alchemy… I would like their blessing. Keep those prayers coming everyone..!

Personal, Technology

[Prayer Request] Suzaku puked and my 160GB external Obelisk may potentially be dead

Leave a comment

I swear, sometimes I think Suzaku’s dance of death is happening now sometimes… About a week ago, a stress fracture appeared on the left corner of my laptop around (ironically) the hard drive and left speaker. Then yesterday, I somehow tracted a zombie-like virus on my computer that basically tore my C:\ in Windows to shreds in real time, while I was trying to make a hasty attempt to back-up my essential data.

I managed to redo another clean install of Windows XP Media Center Edition and reconfigure Suzaku to it’s proper specification, so that’s no issue. The issue is, somehow my 160GB external hard drive named “Obelisk” has a corrupted partition table and that’s quite the predicament ’cause I cannot read a damn thing on there.

Maczimus was more than kind enough to help me as much as he could, but ultimately that would lead to one prognosis… Crack off the plastic encasing using “blunt force trauma”, plug it to a computer desktop tower, use chkdisk and other tools to try to force a repair on the partition table, salvage as much possible data as can be gotten, then reimage the drive with NTFS or EXT3, and lastly to retoss the data back on to the drive.

For once, (pardon my crude language) I am holding cooler than I normally would with a situation like this… Normally, I’d go into a bit of a panick… but at the same time, I am not scared at the moment. It’d be nice to salvage the data, but I won’t be too upset if I can’t. The good news is that my tiny window got a little bigger ’cause HDTune says the drive is in good health as far as sectors go. The only problem is the damned partition tables.

If anyone could, send me a prayer or drop a comment in hopes that I do have a chance to salvage the data.