With a hellish year like 2007, it’s hard to turn around and be happy on “the most wonderful time of the year.” I realize that it wasn’t all bad, but most of it was pain and writhing. I would not find solace until the end of this year. My debts finally coming to an end. Family relations are not much better, unfortunately. Some claim that when we are born into the world, we are born cold, miserable and frustrated. I can see how that idea could come to mind with what I have learned with Buddhism: “All life is suffering”.
In my city, the temperatures keep dropping or rising… Rather than the “traditional” image of a northern Christmas with snow and cold temperatures, it’s just cold days dropping to the 40’s or warm days rising to the high 60’s. It is a pain, but I am not a deity with any gift of meteorological control. I just would like for a “consistent” winter, not this odd fluctuation. Like today and tomorrow are supposed to be somewhere close to the 70’s but somehow Saturday is going to be close to 40’s and 50’s with miserable rain.
My hopes of a great Christmas got quickly damped by 2 surprise expenses that hit me out of the blue… but I can manage until recovery. Most of my loved ones know about my issue and understand. Then there was a personal issue that bothered me until I came to a self realization. Exam results I have not checked due to fear and loathing in addition to pressing issues at my office being more of a priority at the moment. The office has been chaos, but I hope with the new year that there will be positive change.
I have learned to be thankful for the mixed blessings I have and to be thankful for my supporters no matter where they are. My thanks for being there for me in my time of darkness, because without you all… I don’t think I’d be able to get up and fight once more.