n. the inability to obtain sufficient sleep.
I had my first case in a long time last night/this morning, whatever you want to call it. To my friends this can come as quite a shock since I am notorious for my ability to instantaneously pass out the moment my head touches a pillow.
It was 3am and I had just come home from seeing The Dark Knight. Since normal people are awake during the day and not the middle of the night, I figured I’d hit the hay and try to be awake before noon for once this summer. I confess… I am a coward. It wasn’t even a horror film and yet the image of that scary ass clown haunted me through the night whether my eyes were open or not. I must say, props to Heath Ledger for his amazing performance. He sure convinced me.
Like any other scaredy cat would do, I threw the covers over my head feeling slightly more secure until I began to fear the unknown area outside of my fortress of a blanket. I tossed and turned for who knows how long. Even through my short session of being half-asleep I continued to feel the agonizing torture of turning left, then right, then kicking, then left and right again while still trying to stay within my imaginary safety boundaries.
Once I awoke from my short half-slumber, my creative imagination took a turn for the worst and I began to fear more than ever what I could not see. I knew that my fears were foolish and child-like and yet I could not help but wonder if while my guard was down if something or someone had mysteriously crept into my room. For hours I stayed this way through the darkest dark before the dawn. Then I began to wonder, “What if no one is there?” Looking back it was the most sensible thing to think, but at the time it was absurd and was almost swept off my mind completely. However, I asked myself, “What if I’m alone?” Quite suddenly my fears heightened dramatically and threatened to swallow me whole. What if I was alone? I wasn’t even supposed to be asking myself that question. Being raised into the Catholic faith I believe in one presence that is always there for you to comfort you in your pain, help you up when you’ve fallen down, and be the light for you in the darkness. I immediately felt terribly alone-my worst fear. Where was that presence? It was no where to be found and my ‘significant other’ had fallen asleep on the phone many hours before. The only solace I had left was in my phone and as I reached under my pillow to slide it up, I realized the battery had died. Frustrated and fed up, I threw the covers off and saw exactly what I should’ve expected. A new, sunny day was the only thing that had snuck up on me.