It’s amazing to look back and just think “Damn… it’s been that long?” I can still remember hopping out of high school and getting rejection letter after rejection letter from some big time schools saying that I wasn’t “qualified” so my only recourse was community college. From there… I remember the fighting with family that made me strike out and just try to fight the world with my bare hands. For a while, my battle went well… until everything fell apart on the inside.

I would finally hit the rock bottom. It was like being hit by a mass public transit bus at high velocity and then forcefully being dragged to the hospital and stuck with IV’s. It sucked just looking at my battered state and thinking “Damn…” Sure, I am not as “accomplished” as my younger and older family members. Sure, I am dressed in rags rather than lavish linens. All I have to my own name is courage, integrity, and the drive not to be beaten dead. There was one thing I knew that was clear… I had to improve everything about myself. I looked like I was stoned in the gutter, blazed eyes, bleeding profusely, and possibly… rabid. (I kid on saying the latter two. – Zero)

Obviously, the first task that had to be done was washing the debt off of me. I lucked out there with a “deal with the devil” but I am grateful for it. My job at the office has been kind enough to load me the hours I require to adequately stack my paycheck to repay my demonic deal. The biggest change was picking up the slack and getting my sorry tail to the gym. Though I did have a snag that left me working out at home until I had my car parts in hand… It was a small hurdle that would lead me to where I am now.

With retrospect to my “morphology” (as my on-call boss, today called it), the definition is getting there much faster. To think I started supplements back on March 18th and it’s about 2 weeks of whey protein, hard workouts that throughly put me through the wringer… It’s a huge step compared to where I started back in December. I can wait to see the results of my toiling come December 10, 2008. Diet changes have seriously helped, as high proteins and carbs seem to help me patch up a little faster than say junking out. I simply want a return to the body I used to have… Before the stress, poor eating, reckless drinking, and poor sleeping destroyed my body. But on top of that… I want to have more bulk and strength behind it. My change to Optimum Nutrition’s 100% Natural Whey Protein mixed with organic milk seems to work quicker than when I was just using soy milk, but it could be all in my head.

Academically… I will be seeing my shot for personal progress soon. This week I begin my IV and aseptic training course to get my national recognition for that. Then I have Texas A&M Commerce in the Fall to look forward to and hopefully progress further in my life. For me, it’s the big break I have been looking for… for a very long time. I know what is next… just making the steps towards the prize is the main thing I have to hope for and I pray that nothing else falls right in front of me. I have faith that there isn’t any more sorrow for me to behold, the journey to perfection awaits me!

Ironically an oracle has said my star signs are in good alignment this year and that if I pick up the slack, this is the year that all things will change for the better. I will give it my all and I don’t intend to back down.