It’s almost Valentine’s Day. I’m sure you all know too well what that means: romance and the consumerist frenzy! So here’s the deal, I feel us as Americans and maybe we as humans have more or less lost sight of the independent concepts of love and romance. I discovered that recently when challenging a friend to tell me a romantic story. It wasn’t terrible. It was cute and funny. Not terribly romantic. Maybe I am just hard to please. That’s entirely possible.
But more to the point… Who deemed flowers and candy and gasp maybe even jewelry to be essential to romantic evenings? It may be essential to you getting laid if you’re a straight guy. We chicks can be materialistic sometimes, but really it’s silly. Love isn’t wilting beauty, shiny metals, and empty calories. It’s about learning how to make the one you love happy.
Sometimes, this is harder to learn… It’s about letting them be happy even if it isn’t with you. Like many others out there I will be alone on Saturday in a metaphorical sense. Mostly because of just how difficult it can be to figure out how to go about letting go of something you had all too briefly… or not at all.
For the record I’ll toast to you all when we open the wine and hide our secrets behind an alcohol scented haze. Be happy even if you’re alone. Remember you’re one of the lucky ones if not.
This is a special feature requested from my classmate Amber and Haylee with some open discussion from my peers and colleagues for this. The article also was formulated by a few nights at the bars on weekends with friends cutting loose, so I do have some anecdotal data for my “hypothesis” and “theory”.
I have reason to believe that the way the male mind works with regards to romance and sex are all in a set of stages. The stages are cycles may repeat, depending on certain criteria not being met to progress on to the next stage. Some men end up trapped in a cyclical phase of the stages, sadly held in bondage and never to find a means to an end… However, there are others who do learn and have the luck/skills to break out of their sad twisted state of bondage to reach the one optimistic fairy tale ending that most women want.
The stages of romance are as follows…
- Socialization Stage
- Chase Stage
- Lust Stage
- Pure Stage
The Socilization Stage is pretty cut and dry… The male tries to see what actions make him socially acceptable to females versus which will cause them to avoid him with a violent fury. (Savage beatings from offended women are not accounted for, but they are not out of the realm of possibility.) If the stimulus pleases the female quarry, then the male learns “Oh, hey… she likes that!”. The opposite should happen if she is displeased, unless the male is completely demented. Once they have reached reasonable understanding of the subject, the male proceeds to the next stage…
The Chase Stage can be compared much like a cat toying with a mouse. It’s the game that is played in an attempt to see if the male may be able to take pride in earning the affections of their desired quarry. If the woman in question plays hard to get… naturally, the man will see his quarry as a challenge. Depending on the mental fortitude of each party, this “Chase Stage” could last from a few hours to a few weeks… This phase is possibly where the gambit romantics takes place, in an effort to show the desired woman the extent of their physical or mental capabilities. Should copulation happen… That will bring things to a new dynamic.
The Lust Stage is probably one of the most difficult to break and shatter from. The male will (no doubt) be getting sex from their mate… but at the same time, their natural born instincts may betray them. They may seek to try sowing themselves into the wombs of other women. Once part is because the male’s biological function to propagate their DNA to as many mates as possible to ensure the longevity of their blood line… The other is more psychological and the desire to see what all else is out there. Things like a stimulating rumor about some woman who’s like a nasty whore in bed to a young virgin girl who has not been corrupted could be varying stimuli to a male in the Lust Stage. This stage can be self-destructive if not under control as it can essentially fracture the relationship built up from the Chase Stage. Things like infidelity, cupidity, and being two faced generally consequence to such actions. It won’t be until the man learns, for lack of a better phrase, think with his mind and heart rather than his penis that he’s hurting the tender emotion of a woman with his foolishness that he may move on to the final stage.
The Pure Stage is hopefully the last for a male. It’s where the epiphany is found that women are not objects of lust to be taken and abused relentlessly for pleasure… This stage usually gives yield to marriage and other noble things that women dream of. The best way to compare it is… It’s the stage that a man should be in should they want to settle or be sincere to the woman they are enamored with. This is probably the biological thing that most women gravitate to, the “protector” of their honor and eventually the defender of their castle. Sadly… Should parts of the pure stage not be met or become deviated, this could mean either a return to the Lust Stage or even complete and utter destruction to the Socialization stage. Once again, it can be simple things like material, emotional, or even sexual desires that are not met which may cause this recession to the previous stages of romance.
Unfortunately, some men may be trapped in certain stages because they have not come to that profound understanding to evolve their own existence. Some cases, it may be that the man is being held down by a lover who lacks understanding of their own intricate mind. Whatever the case may be… the themes seem to hold very common through out most males.
In my drunken sleep last night, I mused about a funny post about how I think I have given up on dating women… be it online or offline. Too many God damn flakes and people who just suck at life. I will say that online dating has proved to be humorous, but hell… I have had enough of that. Should my loyal and devout readers want to get an “uncut”, swear-word riddled journey to debauchery and madness that will probably have them laughing until they go into organ failure… I will post up my “exploits” as a password locked post for your savory enjoyment.
I know I need to decide a winner, but let’s hope for tomorrow!