Life is a battlefield, depending on how we handle it… We can mismanage our struggles and end up alone in battle or we can take our time and rally for help to take on battles with a balanced party. Ultimately, how we rally an army is up to us. Continue reading The Power of Friendship – A Personal Reflection
This year… My birthday has been both the worst and the best with all due respect. My theme this year was “spend time with the ones you love and cherish, gifts optional” because with good friends, you don’t need gifts. The ultimate gift is the company of your friends as well as the bond shared over years and years. I had chosen the site of The Cheesecake Factory for my event, because I figured it’d be a fun and with a a taste for everyone that may be picky. I didn’t feel it was something ostentatious like the Steve Field’s Steak and Lobster Lounge or something ratty like a greasy all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. To me, it was a modest middle ground with food from almost all cultures to pick and choose from. I also wanted to celebrate in a mature way and to be able to have a glass of beer or a martini with people I love being with. With that said… I had told my guests to just come as they are. I wasn’t expecting people to be in tuxedos and ball gowns for an outing that would cost thousands. I just wanted my friends to be there with me.
The gifts I have received so far are not ones that I demanded for… below I give you the register of items.
UHA Pucchu candy
Steam game: Dark Void Zero
Steam games: Commandos Collection (on sale)
Shiner Bock 6-pack
Steam game: Shatter
Tucano netbook bag
Steam game: Command and Conquer Red Alert 3
Steam game: Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City
Anthony Logistics for Men: Clean Start Kit
The Art of Shaving Fusion Power Chrome razor
Asus Eee PC 1001P Seashell netbook
Time spent with my friends
There is one more gift a friend made mention that is on order, so this will be known as the following:
The greatest gift on this list is my friends. Sure, the material things are nice… but I won’t disregard the matter that even the material things vanish, wither, or break. The most important value to be absorbed from a gift is that… the value from a monetary stand-point should not be viewed/mentioned. If you make it a point about the value of a gift… at that point, it is not a gift. I think Sol said it best with his quotation: “Dude, at that point… reciprocating the value of a gift voids out the meaning of a gift, it’s a loan at that point.” Another friend of mine named Seelen gave a great example: “If I won the lottery and decided to buy you a yacht… I am not gonna say that I expect a Bentley Supersports coupe!”
To be honest… if my friends came to my birthday hangout and just gave me birthday cards… I’d have been happy as all hell for it. Friends last forever, material things will always be come-and-go.
So school has been kicking my tail… I am sure that is evidenced by me not posting as much here… Don’t get me wrong, I like it save for two classes. I fight onward and march to insanity some days even. The few things that keep me in sanity are World of Warcraft and my best friend. The real test of sanity begins soon… As I take Maymester, Summer I and Summer II course just to catch me up to being a Junior and break down course to get further into my major. Taking 2 math courses and 2 science course by Fall 2009 will really be a feat of strength.
As far as “modifications” go… My school is reverting back to a 5-day school week, to that I say… THANK GOD! I was suffering through hell with the 4-day for my sleep cycles. As far as life goes… I am gonna have to rake up plenty of cash and maybe seek partial subsistance for the summer. Gaming-wise… I am looking for more “epic” gear to enhance my enjoyment of playing FPS, RTS, and RPG games. I love my Logitech G9 Laser mouse which I will be reviewing in a while on here.
Lately, I have been feverently helping Rei’s guild (aka “The Team”) “The Order of Corrupted Souls” with being a Senior Officer. I love the responsibility and I feel great actually KNOWING my team members in my team as humans rather than faceless individuals over the internet. Being in real contact with people like Rei, Jon, “Weaver”, Spencer, and Vergil is actually a fun exchange of interaction, especially over the Ventrilo server. I have been debating on chipping a good chunk of cash to a guild member fund raising raffle. The prize pack would be something like the following…
Potential Prize Pack Items for “The Order of Corrupted Souls” Initial Raffle
- A Logitech Gamer Mouse… Either a Logitech G9 Laser mouse, the G5 wired mouse or a G7 wireless mouse
- A Logitech Premium Notebook Headset
- A Razer Destructor Mouse Pad
- A Logitech G13 Game Pad
The goal of the raffle (and possibly future raffles) would be to help pay for Ventrilo fees, get more stuff for the “Order of Corrupted Souls” Loot Chest, and whatever Rei deems appropriate. Another reason I would like to propose the idea is to increase guild member participation. Of course… anyone who chips in would defaultly get 1 entry and from there the ticket prices would be to best discretion. The biggest thing most of all would be if Rei approves of it and if the other members of our guild would approve of such an idea. I could easily see this idea being great should our guild get big or if we do an alliance with a “Sister” guild.
As far as new articles… I have finally finished my cologne article, just it is pending some editing from my editors. Hopefully, Ivy or Eighty will take a gander and help me out… I will probably work on some gamer related articles too. Especially as it is my only means to keep sane anymore these days. Unfortunately… Rest will be only for the weak as I do have Maymester, Summer I, II, and III to contend with at the Community College to deal critical blows to my course work and HOPEFULLY advance myself in what I can take. I just hope I can change stuff should I do something like lessen the decline of my sanity.
Keep watching and I hope to have some really spiffy stuff for you all to read soon!
Friends, family, and my endearing fans of ZeroXR 13mg… I still remember last Friday driving at a blazing pace to set-up base at my official office at home to type out my plea for prayers and emotional assistance. The outcry generated from ZeroXR 13mg, Facebook and text messages was AMAZING! I then would proceed to Stage II of praying for a blessing, sacrificing something in tribute to the gods and demi-gods of Buddhism. Small things like an entire day of not eating meat or an entire day dedicating myself to ceaseless recital of Buddhist sutras and no stimulating entertainment, all to ask the gods to turn the karma machine on…
Well, you all poured your hearts in to praying to your gods… Be they Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, Hindu, etc… They heard your prayers. I know Lord Buddha heard mine. Today was evidence of that.
It started with waking up to “dragon tears” tapping at my window at 7am in the morning. Some family of mine had recited a myth that gentle rains are usually the joyful weeping of heavenly dragons in the sky granting a pious soul a blessing. I even sacrificed styling my hair creatively as a sign of respect for asking my prayers to be granted, just to ensure things.
On my way to math class, I took an exam and aced it… Definitely a great sign!
In Chemistry, I found that my peers also had raised complaints against the teacher’s assistants delaying our exam by 15 minutes… so my professor basically said “I have your exams… You have 30 more minutes to complete your exam.” I bolted out of my seat like an agent trying to snag a dossier while deftly maneuvering others trying to make the most of my time. I managed to fight as hard as I could on the last 2 questions that I didn’t have time to do on Friday, which were worth 18 points. So knowing I did what I could, I knew that my maximum score could now be a little higher.
I would call my apartment at about 4:15pm and ask “What’s my verdict?” My agent would say “So far, things are looking in your favor. It’s being sent to the property managers so they can assess if the case is plausable to do that.” So on walking to my dorm… I just continued reciting prayers in my head. I would ask my friend David if he wanted to come down to the cafeteria with me. He would walk with me and right about 5:13pm, I would hear my phone playing my Korean pop tune ringtone. I didn’t recognize the number, but I picked up the call with due haste.
“Zero, It’s Angela* with Haven Grove Apartments*. I just wanted to give you the follow up call that your case was put before the property managers and on their overview of the case… You both were roommates in the apartment, but her not paying her portion of the bill was not justified by her. In light of this, we will split the bill right in half. You have paid a good portion so all you have left is $142 in dues. The rest will be sent to collections and they will make calls and send her letters in an effort to attempt collecting for her bill. We just need payment from you be it a money order or even a post dated check. After that, you will be absolved from your debts and her debt will be hers alone.”
* – Names changed for privacy reasons.
When I heard that news… I was elated. I had been waiting for the engines of karma to kick in and they finally did. I will say that I couldn’t have done it without you all… Hell, I even found that one of my friends was up since last night and until 6am this morning praying for me! This is proof for all of those that divine retribution works with prayer and for those who have wanted a wrong to finally become right… Karma works and so does prayer. This event is a true testament that “What comes around, goes around”. Loyal fans, friends, and family of mine… I am in your debt. I know that I owe the biggest debt to Lord Buddha for finally coming through with things.
Expect much happier and less stressed posts on ZeroXR 13mg soon..!
Birthdays! A joyous occasion to serve as a reminder of that special person’s entry into this world. While I’m still feeling the fuzzy, warm after-effect of being showered with gifts and praise, I’d like to take this time to thank each and every friend, family member, and even stranger that has remembered someone as insignificant as me. Even more thanks to those that have gone way out of their way and do everything possible to see me flash a smile. (Here it is, =D) I appreciate all the thoughtfulness and hope to spend many more days with you all. <3
Last night, I had met up Kwesta to talk about helping him launch his own personal domain and such. I actually failed to mention the highlight of the evening’s meet-up. For once, I actually spoke fashion with him as he had taken note that I was dressed to the times. This actually made me feel vindicated. I hang out with a good number of friends, but they aren’t typically up with the clothing styles and trends… (Disclaimer, I still love you all!) To hear his compliment made my day as I never got much verification if any that I was not dressing according to the times or if I was making actual fashion faux pas. I know that Kwesta himself is up to the times as he is affiliated with Global Fashion News and is always looking sharp himself… He can’t possibly be wrong!
There were a few people who seemed to hold their doubts about me ever possessing style… To them, I will leave this post with the best and most timeless phrase: “Told ya so.” 😉
Well, it’s a lovely weekend and I could use a good end to a chapter of my life. I invite you all to hang out with me and just be yourselves and possibly mingle with each other… Here’s the formal “invitation” form, click it to view it in its glory. If you have my contact data, gimme a call and maybe we can all converge at one place. If no one responds, no big deal… no hurt feelings here.
I would like to thank the following few folks for keeping me from doing something stupid or kicking the bucket. You all may have done something small, but to me… It means a whole lot. It’s good to know that help is not far with you all around to give me an inspiring set of words or just a simple “Are you ok?” This one goes out to all of you all who just kept messaging me and trying to keep me sane and from picking myself apart.
Bonny, you have my thanks for hearing me out and having me hang out with Hai and the gang. It helped me end things on a good note, so I am very grateful for the reality check.
Linda, thanks for all the consoling on the last few days. It means a lot to me when you shoot a simple message just to make sure that I am alright.
Merinda, thanks for shooting me inspiring messages all day to keep me going. It made surviving work a little easier.
Amanda, thanks for at least letting me know that I should need not worry about myself. I know you have mentioned that I should be seeking my own merits rather than fracturing them.
She, my thanks for shooting a message to make sure I am ok. Hopefully, you got my message about what all happened.
Rei, thanks for the phone call… It was probably like the IV line I needed that was full of reason. I know I have been tearing myself to shreds but the reason made it all hit home.
Cousin Sol, you sir… you went above and beyond. Your urgency to my situation was like that of a combat medic. Thanks for being there for me and hearing me out on my phone call.
Desiree, you have my appreciation for checking to make sure I was alright.
Jan, even though you’re my assistant manager… You’re like a mother and a close friend to me. Thank you for your encouraging words, they mean the most to me.
Lastly… Twitch, thanks for your insight on things and giving me advice that was almost like the quelling dose of IV Dilaudid. It wasn’t quite what I hoped for, but in the end, it was like the best course of therapy.
From the 9 folks of the above… They all had one theme in common in their kind advice:
Forgive yourself, because above all things… you’re human.
I realize I have forsaken myself many times all because I couldn’t realize that I had my own merits. All I can do is be driven by my own hopes and dreams in search of strength. I need to fuel myself harder on tearing more new adipose tissue. I will have to fight hard with Commerce on the way to get my degree. The most important quest of all is to realize myself, my potential, and that I am ultimately a good person.
The most important pearl of advice is from Merinda:
Never lose your dreams and honor, that’s what separates you from others in this world.
I did have a huge post I was going to throw up before work about my heroism for a friend, but well… that may be delayed for a good while. Apparently, being a hero to a friend doesn’t matter. Especially when the medical emergency call happened randomly and you’re more pumped on adrenaline rather than reasonable thought. I understand that I should have called, but my friend was in the hospital scared to death about a potentially threatening problem to their health. Maybe it was “wrong” for me to play an angel of mercy for my panicked and fearful friend… but if it must become a petty argument on how my heroism is invalid because I am still covered in debt… then I will say that is a ludicrous argument.
Maybe I am a little too compassionate for a friend in fear. I had my buddy, Brandon, with me to help comfort her. Sometimes we all start small and for my friend… She had no one to assist because of a terrible circumstance. I did my part and if I get the blame for it, then I just have to take it in stride. Well, time for me to walk into work and try to purge myself of losing a fight with family to justify my heroic actions.
If anyone wants to say thanks or offer their words of encouragement, you’re more than welcome to do so. It would help with the pain of my “shame” right now.
My sleep schedule is all gone to high hell so I ask of you all to help me. If you see me on past midnight, throw me an IM and remind me to hit the sack. Most of the insomnia now is based from my brain being filled with thoughts of needless worry… If you can help me get back into a healthy sleep schedule, I’ll be in your debt. I ask as I am going to “IV School” to get my intravenous medicine compounding certification and aseptic training which requires my mind to be fresh and ready to take on the curriculum.
For you local folks or those who have mobile phones… feel free to text or call me to say “Go to bed!” would be helpful. Just positive reinforcement that whatever is “pertinent” can be withheld for another day.