Hopes and Desires for the New Year

I would like to start the new year with a positive note. The year of 2007 had its share of painful trials and tribulations, but after some positive reflections… I think I could learn to love life again. I am disappointed from the loss of my friends who flaked on me, but it’s not like they were any good to me. From the flames of my own immolation, I was reborn and rebuilt from my true friends, my mentors, and most of all myself. I know from my debts, I cloistered myself from my friends because I was ashamed to hang out with them from being the worst off. With most of my debts behind and just a more centric focus on my loan repayment, I should be less stressed this time around.

I would like to spend more time being close with my friends and family for 2008 as a token to them for being there for me. I know some people have basically sat through my bouts of word vomit about the pains of my life or trials of my job… To them, words cannot even begin to express my gratitude. Rather than do the things that the younger folks like doing (going to the clubs, getting wasted, etc), I would like to do much more mature things with my dear friends like meeting at a wine parlor for a drink of wine or spirits while conversing. With the lost year due to debt encumbering me, I understand now what my mentors meant by “soon, you’ll see life fly before your eyes.” I have been so out of touch with my friends that it has been shocking throughout this year to hear things like “You know, that person died?” or “She got pregnant and is marrying in 3 months!” was a bit of a blow to me being sheltered from my own existence.

To my dear friends, both distant ones and local ones, if you ever have free time… Give me a call. I’d like to catch up on the times or even catch a meal/drink if possible. Because I know most of you all have had drastic changes or even dropped off the radar! I would like to do my best as a good friend and try to catch up with the times. Be it as simple as catching a burger or sitting down with a glass of merlot wine, all that matters is that I am doing my best to be involved in your lives.

I know that the majority of my family is a “lost cause” because of their stigma of me being the “black sheep” both figuratively and literally; while cousin Sol redeems me as almost like a brother as we seem to lead parallel lives. I am out of touch with my own family due to the fact that I broke out to the “cruel world” and experienced things that opened my mind. I know that my experiences were much like a Pandora’s Box sort of thing so I changed as human person, rather than a naive child. I know I am not the most academic person like my prodigy of a sister or a “genius” like my cousin in Florida, but I do not quite like being thought as just a plain failure. I don’t much like the vanish rewards dangling in front of me bit either, as it makes little to any difference to me. I know my family has been trying to “bribe” me to getting into a bigger school with the reward of having my car note paid and throwing a sizable down payment to getting a brand new car of my choosing, but I don’t see how that will work out if I am still going to be repaying a loan to them. For once, I wish that they would break things down honestly to me and just give me the truth. I could care less about them paying my car note, because with only $8,000 left, I am sure I can handle it. Down payment for a new car, forget it. I would be more than fine if I could just pick up a cheap little Acura Integra GS-R sedan for a couple grand with my own money then have the stigma of “You owe us!” hang over my head. I can always wait for my “new car” after my degree. From my realization that I had evolved away from my own family… I realized that I can’t fight for them, I have to fight for myself and my ideals.

This year, I hope to get into stocks and securities to try making some cash as a next egg. I have some ideas of which stocks to look out for, just the issue is buying in. My mentor has offered to learn me up on stocks, so I have been taking in his wisdom and learning. It doesn’t help that my gym basically has CNBC streaming stock news and the ticker with potentially hot stocks or stocks that are quickly turning into garbage. Unfortunately, I don’t have the money to subscribe to some stock analysis sites… so my only other option is to use Google or Yahoo finance to analyze various securities and piece together news reports for determining possible good or bad stocks. If I could get into stocks enough to secure my future assets, I would probably be able to finance my education on my own.

I am honestly surprised with my progress with working out and I hope to step up my intensity harder to gain more results from my effort. My body seems to be adapting quickly to my training, as my arms, legs, and abs are showing the seeds of my progress. A dear friend invited me to be their date for a wedding they were invited to, so I would like to look my best for that event some time in November. I have my 3rd month goal in February (2/11/2008) to try to be slimmed down to 140 lbs mainly to try trimming off my body fat index because I am at about 23% body fat. Hopefully with the incentive that I have set myself that I can reach my goal and bring down my body fat percentage down, then steadily gain muscle mass by November.

As for my car, the poor thing needs its 60,000 mile service soon. I would have gotten it done this month, but well repaying the loan sharks for parents seems to cause a fight when I say “I am trying to save up for my 60,000 mile maintenance”. I just hope my car lasts until then. The poor thing needs new rear tires and I know I have been trying to get better wheels… I hope to just save up for some good wheels and tires to do an upgrade on my car, because I think my car needs a wider patch of traction. With the new wheels, I may look into a total brake system upgrade that looks very close to stock. I know that I will probably I will probably be considering a Brembo set of discs with a set of 4-piston calipers. I am going to be seriously considering a brake pad upgrade until I can do a disc and piston upgrade for improved stopping power. Safety wise… I am looking more into rollbars and a stock hardtop as I know family has been voicing more and more concerns about my car. I am not going to itemize my desires, but I will say that safety and chassis strength is my focus this year.